4 Years of Early Retirement – Is It What I Imagined?

I can’t believe it has been four years since I last set an alarm clock to wake up for an early team meeting. It’s been four years since I handed in my notice to my job and planned to travel the world with no home base– indefinitely.

And it’s been a year since I wrote my last post. Oops.

I sent out an e-mail to ask readers if they had any questions about early retirement so far. If you didn’t get it, check your Promotions/Spam folder! This was partially a test: do I have any readers any more? Have I lost them all to the advent of AI scraping all of our hard earned content and regurgitating it all in little bits? I got a bit discouraged from writing by AI’s takeover, but I KNOW that writing is still valuable.

Real peoples’ real stories are important. Writers who don’t run their work through those resource-sucking little machinations are getting more rare. So here’s another post. No AI touched any part of this, it’s all straight from my brain and your questions in my inbox!

Q1: I would be curious to know if you’ve got a home base and if you do extended periods of travel and if so, how you balance that.

Post-retirement, I went on a travel spree. I visited Copenhagen, left for Bali, fell in love with Thailand, needed antibiotics in Vietnam, ate the best bao buns ever in Taiwan, skiied in Japan, hiked all over New Zealand… it was phenomenal to go on so many adventures.

Then I returned to the U.S. I continued to travel, but I spent more time with my partner. Then I adopted a cat. And acquired things, like a gym membership! But when I did travel I would leave for at least a month. Why not, since I had no job to return to? With no PTO to fuss about, I went on trips to Sri Lanka, Alaska, and Ireland.

But then I moved. Aside from Amsterdam, every place I’ve lived for the last decade was dictated by outside forces. So when we finally got to decide where we wanted to live, it was a big deal. I did so much research. Went on lots of trips to scout out locations. And fell in love with the California coast. Once we moved to a beautiful, sunlit spot in the woods above Santa Cruz, I didn’t feel like going anywhere. I just wanted to stay home.

For the last year, I didn’t travel at all except to see family.

As to your question, yes, I have a home base now. There is a lovely community of neighbors who all take care of each other’s plants and animals. I tell myself if I didn’t have the kitties I’d be away for even longer stints but I don’t think that’s true. There’s so much to do, I feel less urge to leave.

This question-asker also tacked on some extra information to her question:

“I find myself struggling to land or settle anywhere. Like there’s too much freedom and possibility even at this stage, to ignore it.”

My two-cents? Hell yeah. There are stages for everything. If you have the freedom, take it! I only felt comfortable finally settling after traveling so much I started to miss home. Then I picked somewhere awesome to live, and now most of my travel is local trips to cool places nearby.

After no traveling out of the country all year, I finally did just book a trip; I am going to go to Türkiye before year-end. So if you have any Türkiye recommendations please drop them in the comments!

Q2: What do you say to others (friends, previous co-workers, strangers you meet, etc.) when they ask the so-common question of what you do? And what is their reaction?

I have to be honest that I haven’t found a satisfactory method to this yet. To a third of people, I still say I’m a ‘software engineer’. To another third, a ‘writer’. Sometimes I reply that I’m a ‘career coach’ which is somewhat true. Sometimes I’ll say I’m on a sabbatical, or freelancing. Very rarely will I share that I’m actually retired.

I’m actually glad you parcelled out this question into different groups because the type of relationship does matter.

Friends: Close friends know, and I’ve shared the blog with them. With acquaintances, it’s harder to know if it’s worth sharing. I’ve been in the car with someone I was getting to know when they made a disparaging remark about a friend of theirs who doesn’t work. Obviously, I didn’t want to share with them after that! Some people feel weirdly entitled to your time, effort, or money, and if I’m unsure, I stay more private.

With one friend group, I wasn’t sure what to say when I first started getting to know them, so I said I was on a sabbatical. After a year, they started to ask when I thought I’d go back to work again. By that time I had gotten to know them well enough to share that … I’d probably never go back. With friends I have the time to provide context and explanation, share this blog, and answer questions, so it’s easier to tell the truth.

Previous co-workers: I love telling previous co-workers that I retired. It is realistically something they could do too, since they work at pay ranges similar to what I made while saving money. I want them to know it’s possible if they want to escape! When I left a company, I would sometimes share my blog with interested co-workers or anyone who expressed interest.

Strangers: This really depends on the moment. If it’s an off-hand question, I’ll pick an off-hand career. If it’s someone who seems present enough to engage with the idea of an early retiree, sometimes I risk it for fun. My favorite time was while getting dinner with a fellow traveller. She was 10 years younger, engaged and curious how I did it. I hoped by sharing more of my story, she could know it’s a possible path.

You know who has the most fun telling people that I’m retired? My mom. She loves to tell me about peoples’ shocked reactions. When she told an uncle of mine, he said I must not have done the math right (Ha.) She’s been attempting to retire for years, but she gets tempted back into work shift by shift. I keep telling her it’s pretty great!

Q3: I’d like to know about the dynamics of being retired with a working partner.

My partner loves his job and doesn’t ever want to retire, which…. can’t relate. His hours are afternoon to late-night, which means we wake up together in the morning with no alarm. Usually he gets up to make coffee and we share leisurely mornings together.

The only downside is that if we do a day trip out-and-about town we have to make sure he’s back in time for his shift mid-afternoon. Sometimes I chafe against yielding to a work schedule, but ultimately it’s a very nice situation. We still get to spend most of the day together, and I get to blame my bad sleep habits on his late shifts. Win/win.

Q4: How is retired life treating you these days? Any regrets about retiring early, or anything you would have done differently?

I have absolutely no regrets about retiring early. The idea of working still physically repulses me. Actually, I’d say now, after 4 years, is the first time I’ve ever thought, “Hmm maaaaybe I could work again.” And it would have to be a very interesting offer, maybe with the enticement of learning a whole new set of skills. I’d be interested in leading trail rides on horseback (utterly unqualified) for example.

I don’t think I’d do much differently when it comes to retiring early. The only thing I can think of is that I’ve really appreciated the online connections I’ve made through blog writing. I’ve met readers in real life for coffee (shout out MamaMinou), and made friends with other blog writers.I could have benefited from going to more of the real-life events, conferences, and meet-ups.

I went to one FinCon 7 years ago, and to this day feel connected to some folks I got to know that weekend. (like APurpleLife, who still writes!) There are CampFI meet ups, Chautauquas, and other types of real-world gatherings of FIRE-minded folk and I wish I was a bit more social that way. I did start going to a political podcast (Diabolical Lies anyone? FIRE-oriented Money With Katie crossed with Marxism?) meet-up right before I moved. But then… I moved.

Moving this much, and traveling often, makes it hard to build community. That’s the part I’ve been focusing on for the last year.

Q5: Have you ended up doing anything to generate supplemental income in retirement?

A lot less than I expected! I used to sell resume templates on this site, but some scammers came along, bought a bunch and then issued chargebacks through their banks, which wiped out the very teeeeny bity profit I ever made from that. Sad.

I did help someone with her resume, and she referred me out to her colleagues. Enough referrals kept coming in that I got to help people in all sorts of industries with their resumes and interview skills. This was a rather casual side gig for me, but I really liked that all of this career-maxxing from FIRE could actually turn out to be useful in some way. The market has been tough out there for folks looking for jobs, so it was nice to help. However, I wouldn’t say this made much of a dent in income overall.

I recently learned that I’m 6 credits away from being able to take social security when I retire, so I should probably get on some kind of earning-money-train if only for that.

Q6: I’d also be really interested to hear how you decided to manage your finances after getting married. Did you fully combine everything, keep some things separate, or land somewhere in between?

Lucky for you I wrote a whole post detailing our prenup, which includes how we decided to manage our finances. Simply put, what worked for us was to keep pre-marital separate, but post-marriage funds together. This is also the legal precedent in California, which makes it easy.

“Wait a sec,” you may think to yourself, “don’t you have all the pre-marital funds, while your husband is working and contributing to joint assets?” Yes. Insert maniacal laughter here.

I joke. My partner has pre-marital assets that makes sense to keep separate, and I am partial to keeping my Financial Independence Fund separate. We both contribute to our shared life, whether through unpaid labour, paid labour, or bringing the good vibes. One day we may decide to combine everything and sunset our prenup, but that’s a conversation for another life stage. As I cover in the prenup post, both of us feel that this is a fair arrangement, cosigned by our lawyers.

Q7: Whatever happened with the book you were working on? Are you still writing it?

Aw, shucks, thank you for remembering! I am still working on it. It’s coming together well, actually. I’d say about 60%-70% away from completing the first draft.

Here’s a sneak peek that makes my writing look a lot more glamorous than it is most of the time:

The left side is all of the chapters I’ve written! (By the way, you aren’t supposed to be able to zoom in and read that. It’s blurry for a reason. Be patient!)

I hope everyone who has been following along on my blog will read this book, even though it’s a complete departure from finance. It’s a memoir that goes deeper into why I moved to Amsterdam in the first place, six years ago. It’s a raw and personal book. At least, I hope it will become a published book. I’m still in the writing stage. You’d think with all this retirement-time I’d have finished it by now, but one thing I will tell you, you’d be surprised how completely unproductive one can be when given the opportunity!

I will be sure to update the blog once the book is ready for the world.

Q8. In practice, how have retirement and independence compared with your previous imagination, goals, and expectations?

In my previous imagination of retirement, I would be surfing daily. In reality, ha! I go about twice a season.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I did expect to recover from burnout quicker. I’m actually not sure if I’ve quite recovered, as a high-achieving, straight A, honor-class-taking, engineering major. I thought I’d do more art, more crafts, more projects overall. Don’t get me wrong, I still do a lot of these things, but probably a similar amount to an employed person. I’m surprised by how ordinary my life looks, even with this extraordinary circumstance where I don’t need to work.

I do have a regular yoga practice because I have a mutual commitment with a neighbor and we carpool together. This has been a valuable lesson: other people keeping you accountable is sometimes the most reliable way to make sure you do the things you want to do. This means I really should be looking into a surfing community if I want to surf more.

This sounds silly, but my cats actually take a lot of my time. I get cat trapped by one, then the other whines at the door for a walk like a dog (he really is more like a dog). He needs a lot of mental stimulation, so I make up puzzles. Get him running on his cat-wheel. Play tag around the house. He also needs someone to lift him to the ceiling to pursue moths that perch out of his reach. Very important cat-assistant duties.

I overheard someone say that if they didn’t work, they would be at the rock climbing gym every single day. I was mildly amused, as I reflected how I naively thought I’d spend my days pre-retirement. But of course every person’s calendar is different, and far be it from me to decide if that’s true for that person! Personally, I managed to go about 3 times a week with concerted effort before I moved away from our gym.

Luckily, when I review what I do in a week, it does come up looking fun. There are game nights and pot lucks with neighbors. Yoga classes. Local dahlia picking and bouquet-making. Beach days. Arts festivals. Hikes in redwood forests. Cooking elaborate meals. Recently, my sister just moved to my area (funemployed!) so we’ve been getting up to some fun things as well, including a backpacking trip and lots of board game playing. She’s saving for FIRE too, which will be amazing, especially if my partner insists on working.

Q9. How important is service to humanity versus self-care and self-interest?

All of these descriptions of my days starts feeling self-indulgent after a while. Seriously, all your energy goes into your cats!? I imagine someone scoffing. To be fair, they do nap for like, 8 hours a day, which leaves me a lot of room for other things.

Luckily, as I’ve mentioned earlier in this post, I have been committed to building a community in my new place. That has plugged me into ocean clean-up efforts, volunteering to clear roads and trails, and a group writing postcards to swing states (next week!). My neighborhood is full of highly-motivated people, and getting plugged in with these efforts has been highly rewarding!

I wrote a long time ago about how I Am Not A Generous Person (and The Case Against A Donor Advised Fund), however with my new circumstances it is a more appropriate time to open one, so it’s time to revisit that! We have more means to put aside for personal “philanthropy projects” each month to causes we care about.

Anyway, to answer this question, service to humanity and our mother Earth outweighs self-interest in every measure.

What About You?

What would an ideal day-in-retirement look like for you?

Do you have a favorite Jane Austen book or movie adaptation?

What would an ideal day-in-retirement look like for you?

Let me know in the comments below!

A related quote:

Confusing independence with liberation

Makes freedom synonymous with needing no one; obscuring the reality that mutual dependence are essential to collective freedom.

We have been taught to celebrate the person who can provide for themselves, solve their own problems, carry their own burdens.

Liberation is not becoming so independent that we need no one.

Liberation is creating a world where needing one another is safe, reciprocal and ordinary.

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