We were all sitting around the table, steaming dishes heaped full of rice and water buffalo. I was slowly eating through the pieces of liver on my plate, a delicacy reserved for important guests, so I was trying not to offend my host by gagging.
“What are your plans,” she asked us, and we told her: one person would be flying straight home from Nepal to work on his thesis, another was heading to her sister’s wedding, and I was going to Bhutan, a neighboring country for two weeks on the tail end of my summer.
“You can do that because you’re rich,” she said matter-of-factly, giving me one more reason to make me choke on the liver. I sputtered and shook my head, but in that moment I realized that I couldn’t argue. The four of us Americans, even though we felt like broke college students most of the time, had lived lives nearly unimaginable to the entire population of the town.
You Can Suffer And Still Have Privilege
It wasn’t until I had to fight the instinct to argue, to play it off, that I realized many of us have a very hard time ever accepting the truth of our privilege.
If someone calls out your privilege, it can feel like they are saying that you got to where you are purely based on factors outside your control. The implication can feel like someone is telling you that you haven’t suffered the same way others have. How could they possibly assume that about you?
Humans throughout history have had varying levels of privilege. We have unconditionally suffered and unconditionally experienced happiness. We also all have varying levels of luck and skill that got us to where we are today.
Acknowledging your own privilege doesn’t mean you’re admitting that you’ve necessarily had it easy, life handed to you on a silver platter, but the opposite: you can recognize that others face obstacles you never had to face.
The Parallel Truths of Privilege and Hard Work
I like to think of myself as a skilled, strong-willed, disciplined person. But I also grew up in a nice suburban neighborhood with two parents that stayed married, supported my education and encouraged me throughout. I worked hard, but I didn’t have to take care of my sister when I got home because my parents didn’t work late. I studied into the night, but I didn’t have to take on a job because my parents were supporting me financially. I worked my butt off for an engineering degree, but I had tons of support behind me while I did it.
It is important to acknowledge that while I think financial freedom is an attainable dream for many people who may doubt the idea– I also recognize that it’s near impossible to imagine saving up 25x your annual expenses when you’re struggling to live until your next paycheck.
It’s not about blame– a lot of the elements of privilege are something we don’t get to choose. I was born with incredible amounts of privilege, I know there are tons of problems I don’t think about because they don’t affect me every day.
I’m white, straight, cisgender, able-bodied and grew up in a happy middle-class family. It’s not something I asked for, but it is something I have benefitted from in many ways. Whether or not I consciously realize that those benefits were tied to my privilege, whether I asked for them or not, I still benefitted.
I Can Do This Because Of My Privilege
It’s easy to get swept up in keeping up with your peers, to tout working hard to get ahead, but don’t forget the privilege that got you there. Even though it feels uncomfortable, I know the truth of my Nepali host’s words, “I can do this because I’m rich.” I can write this blog because I have shelter, enough money to cover the costs of website hosting, and a computer to write with.
Privilege is not having to consider which entrance of a building to go to, because you are able-bodied enough to take the stairs. It’s being unconcerned about walking back into a store without a receipt because people will believe you when you say you just bought whatever you are holding, and didn’t steal it. You might not be affected by microaggressions every day because of the color of your skin, or find it more difficult to get a job because of a disability.
The Importance of Acknowledging Privilege
If you can acknowledge the privilege you have, you can use it to give a voice and a platform to those with less privilege than you. You can step aside as the default and let others into the conversation.
It also allows people to know where you came from. Those who are trying to follow your path may slip up without the support systems that you had. Telling people about the support you had will inform their steps if they are inspired by you.
What do you think?
Do you consider yourself “rich”?
What are your thoughts on privilege and money?